First, I'd like to say thank you to everyone for all of your support and prayers, not only for my dad, but for our family. It has been amazing to see everyone rise up in prayer and send out love for us. It truly shows me how many people my dad has effected in his life. He has told me on many occasions how surprised and grateful he is for all the encouragement he has received and how much he appreciates the prayers for his FAMILY. To my close friends and family, thank you for every text, phone call, cuddle on the couch, and hug. You have made this SO much easier for me and I pray for you guys everyday.
I just wanted to give an update on how we are doing and share a bit about what is going on in our lives. This has obviously come as a shock to Josh, Mary, and I. You never expect your young, fun, active dad who doesn't smoke, drink, or even swear for goodness sakes, to get cancer. When we first found out, we immediately started to do research (my parents didn't pay for all that university for nothing ha ha) and the results were shocking and terrifying. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. To be honest, I felt like I didn’t want to breathe. My entire world was crashing down around me.
People often ask questions in these situations like “Why do bad things happen to good people?” or “Why is this happening to us?” I didn’t. I know bad things happen to good people. I don’t question if God is punishing my family or if we’ve done something wrong. In fact, I see it as the opposite. When you are working for the Kingdom, Satan has to defend his. The devil wouldn’t attack my dad if he wasn’t making an impact for eternity. He would leave him alone and let him go about his boring, ineffective life and go attack the people who are making a difference in this world. We all know that my dad does NOT lead a boring and ineffective life. He chooses to live on purpose each and every day, knowing that this decision puts him in the line of spiritual fire. Mary and I are reading “Fearless” by Max Lucado in our Bible study right now (a book I highly recommend btw). In the first chapter he talks about the storm that comes up when the disciples are out on the boat with a sleeping Jesus. He clarifies:
“This story sends the not-so-subtle and not-too-popular reminder: getting on board with Christ can mean getting soaked with Christ. Disciples can expect rough seas and stout winds. “In the world you will [not ‘might,’ ‘may,’ or ‘could’] have tribulation” (John 16:33, brackets by Lucado). Christ-followers contract malaria, bury children, and battle addictions, and, as a result, face fears. It’s not the absence of storms that sets us apart. It’s whom we discover in the storm: an unstirred Christ.” (Lucado, Fearless, p. 7-8).
We may have been shocked by my dad’s diagnosis, but Christ wasn’t. He has planned every day of my dad’s life. He formed him in the womb. He knows how many hairs he has on his head (God got off easy on that one). God is not shaken or stirred by this. He is our rock. He has a plan. The plan may not be what we want, it may not be in our timing, and it most definitely is not in our understanding, but that’s where faith comes in. Believing that He is in control, will stick to His loving promises, and will be faithful to the end. He is taking us from faith to faith, glory to glory. We pray for more faith. We pray for wisdom. We pray for growth. Growth hurts. Last week, I was telling Mia how much she had grown since I last saw her. She told me “I KNOW! My legs were aching so much that I cried every night. I had a growth spurt.” Here we go, another growth spurt in our lives (be careful what you wish for eh? I’d better be a giant after this one, God!!!). I’m like Mia, I cry every night. Honestly, I cry every morning too. I cry sporadically throughout the day. It hurts. My heart aches and I’m human and I don’t want to go through this. But everyday (more like every hour) I choose to not live in fear, but to walk in faith.
Looking back on any difficult circumstance I have faced in the past, I never understood the reasons while I was going through it. Nobody does. Some of them, I still don’t understand the reason, and may never understand until I’m in heaven (believe me, I’ve written a looong LIST of questions for Jesus when I meet Him). But for many of them, it has now become very clear and I can see how He was directing my life, keeping me safe, moulding me. I can see the good that came out of it, and what could have happened if I didn’t go through it. God knew better. For us, hindsight is 20/20, for Him, it’s always 20/20.
According to medical reports, my dad won’t survive this cancer. However, according to the world, my parents shouldn’t have survived an affair, let alone gone on to help countless other couples survive in their marriages. According to the world, my little sister should have been taken by social services and become a statistic of Vancouver’s downtown East End. According to the world, I shouldn’t have come out of Uganda alive. According to the world, Josh should not have survived a home invader waking him up with a machete knife to his throat. According to the world, my family should have been torn apart many times by the trials we have faced, and yet God has helped us overcome. So according to God’s report, we will live in faith, and believe for a miracle. We will believe in his promises that He will not give us more than we can handle, that by His stripes we are healed, that we are worth more than many sparrows, and that His ways are higher than our ways. His Spirit is my comforter, His word; my teacher, and His hand; my strength. I KNOW my redeemer lives and by His grace we are saved.
